immortalize

there are some things about ourselves that we just can't share with anyone, no matter how close we may be to our friends or family. i guess it has something to do with maintaining that facade, that image, that people have come to associate with us: strong, confident, rational. even a self-confessed non-carer like me has these hang-ups. to a certain extent, we want people to think that we live ordered lives, somehow. lives that don't have the complications we think only naive, emotionally-unstable people do.
but my life has its share of complications. it has its share of things i'm not keen on admitting out loud. if i knew my friends read this blog, no way i would be writing about my life here. but as it happens, they don't know about this blog, and i intend to keep it to myself. although why i should bother to write here is beyond me. maybe it has something to do with that inexpressible desire to immortalize oneself, even through such insufficient media as words. but it can't be helped. i'm going to need something to remind me of how i lived my life, maybe so that when i'm old, i'll have something to look back on, without really quite forgetting.
i don't really know how to start. i don't even intend to make it chronological, as long as i immortalize my life, somehow, in these pages, and let out everything inside me that don't have any outlet. this blog will have to suffice.