Liar

today i'm a big liar. i lied about such a big thing, i don't know how i can live with myself. alright, if you're curious, here it is..
i was in Starbucks last night, and i was texting with my boyfriend. all of a sudden, from seemingly nowhere, he started talking about seeing other people and some such crap like that. God, i didn't see that coming. Well, the point is, we talked, and agreed not to think about it yet, to deal with it later on, when all the academic shit in my life was over, and i could afford to wreck my existence..we agreed to talk about it when i went home for the summer..
so, the lie:
i told my friends that i had broken up with him at the trun of the year, told them that i had to break it off because it just wasn't the same anymore, it just wasn't as happy..that love was no longer enough. that is the lie..the most blatant lie i've ever told..well, one of the most blatant lies i've ever told. and now i feel sick to my stomach for being the hypocritical, insecure bitch i am...
of course, i rationalize that i needed to put up some defenses, that i had to keep myself from being pathetic all over again, but still.
so there you go. judge me all you want..i don't care..you don't know me, anyway.