I remember how it used to be. i remember when he carried me so my shoes wouldn't get wet by the puddle. i remember how it used to feel. but now it's not the same. Now it's like i'm an obligation. Now it's like he has to make himself love me. Why can't he keep loving me the way he loved me that rainy night he carried me? why does it have to change? What's different between now and then? What's different between me now and me then? Have i somehow become less lovable? Or is all this an inevitable result of a love gone cold? Maybe so. Too bad my love is burning as hotly as ever. So much more painful for me to be touched by that coldness..

I'm broken. All of me is. My heart. It's broken, and it keeps breaking even more..at least that's how it feels. When my beaux breaks up with me, i wonder how it'll feel then. i hope it just gets shattered and never heal, so i'll have an excuse never to love again. I don't ever want to fall in love with anyone else, i just want him. But how can i keep loving him when he won't have me? Stop this, deal with it when it happens..if it happens. Just pray it doesn't.